


The Friar's Revenge

by ShadowSocks



Category: Romeo And Juliet - All Media Types, Romeo And Juliet - Shakespeare
Genre: Drama, F/M, Happy Ending, M/M, Parody, Plothole Fill, Poetry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:27:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 4,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26126455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadowSocks/pseuds/ShadowSocks
Summary: There is more to the story of Romeo & Juliet than meets the eye. From the perspectives of Friar Laurence and Prince Escalus, many characters' true motivations are revealed and the plot becomes thicker than ever. Unexpected romances and murderous scheming abound in this behind-the-scenes retelling of William Shakespeare's "Romeo & Juliet".
Relationships: Benvolio Montague/Prince, Friar Laurence/Rosaline (Romeo and Juliet)
Kudos: 2





	1. In which Friar Laurence develops a plot for revenge

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this for a Romeo & Juliet creative writing assignment for my English class and was pretty proud of how it turned out. Hope you enjoy!

_A few weeks before Act I. Friar Laurence is alone in his cell._

**Friar Laurence:**

Dear me, a woeful Friar in my cell,

Alone in my loveless kind of heck,

Accompanied only by my wine

As I dream, as always, of Rosaline.

O Rosaline, a rose indeed

Whose sweet fragrance doth my poor nose need.

The delicate petals that cunningly hide

Thy cruel thorns which pierce my side.

How long ago when we first met,

Moments that I shalt never forget.

The way thou smiled, so pure and true,

Made my weary heart beat anew.

Thou met mine eye, I felt a spark.

Thy lilting voice, sweet as a lark

Sang through mine ears and into my soul;

Yet to thee mine affections’ effect is null.

Now my cold heart’s hearth remains so bare

Without the warmth of thy fiery hair;

Thine eyes a deep and brilliant lake;

O, thou hast now my heart to take.

Rosaline, how thy kind soul has touched mine.

My heavy heart shalt forever be thine.

Thy sharp and shining intelligence

Attracts the affections of all gents.

Alas, the sole one who loves thee not

Is he which thou believes most hot,

And he who receives thy flirtatious hints

Is none other than Verona’s own Prince.

Oblivious to thy flaming passion,

His apathy left thy dear face ashen.

Despite thy glowing looks and charms,

All thou hath got from him was harms.

The only man who could say no

Is the likes of which loves Benvolio.

Indeed, he told me in confession

Of this great feeling's sure progression.

Rejected by thy handsome Prince,

And chased by Romeo ever since,

With love’s fickle ways thou was done

And abandoned love to become a nun.

Now because of those foolish two,

I must miss out on love most true.

Stupid Romeo, that stubborn table

Hath made thee unavailable.

My blue heart needs thee, Rosaline

To give to me thy crimson love divine.

Yet in absence of thy joyous hue,

Well, I suppose revenge will do.

With my plentiful supply of herbs,

The Prince shalt speak no nouns nor verbs.

Forever silenced, forever asleep;

In that, some solace I may reap.

Of course, Romeo too deserves to die;

I cannot let that cruel bird fly;

So for this perfect crime I shall frame

Romeo, may he be put to death and shame.

Now, to the gardens to concoct a potion

That shalt fulfill my vengeful notion;

For nowhere would I draw a line

For what I would do for dear Rosaline.

[ _Friar Laurence goes out to the gardens, searching for the right plant to poison the Prince._ ]


	2. In which Friar Laurence poisons Prince Escalus

_Late Friday morning, 2 days before Act I. Friar Laurence, Romeo, and the Prince are in Friar Laurence’s cell._

**Friar Laurence:**

At last, the perfect moment is here;

The execution of my plot is near;

For here with me is my first victim,

As well the man to be punished with him.

The Prince is here for confession,

Knowing not his life shalt be my possession.

Romeo here, to learn herbs be his aim,

And for the Prince’s death he shalt take blame.

I turn to Romeo and say,

“Come, my son, with herbs we’ll play.”

To the Prince: “Shalt we make tea for thee?”

“Why thank you sir, I do love tea!”

This is where the plot shalt thicken

As Romeo and I head to the kitchen.

I hang a kettle over the fire,

Filled with water to hold a fate most dire.

I take Romeo to the counters

With leaves of tea and deathly encounters.

I bid Romeo to chop the leaves;

Unknowingly, both tea and poison he cleaves.

He takes them to the water, now hot,

And dumps them right into the pot.

If Romeo adds the poison and serves the tea,

Surely the crime is not mine but belongs to he?

The poisoned tea is poured into a cup;

It smells delicious, he shalt drink it up!

I follow Romeo, he hands the cup to the Prince,

And now, a distraction shalt commence.

“O Romeo,” I now call out,

“Please take these instructions about

Various plants that I wish thou to bring,

So our lessons can be continuing.”

“I’ll stay here with the Prince,” I continue,

“For a confession be on his menu.”

Romeo nods and away he goes,

Leaving the Prince to his soon-to-be woes.

I watch the Prince as he takes a sip;

His eyes roll back and his chair starts to tip.

Finally, he collapses on the ground,

All the while uttering not a sound.

I gather up the body with haste;

With a murder to hide, not a moment to waste.

I drag the corpse out the back, to the barn,

Leave him on the hay like a limp pile of yarn.

I hurry back to my cell to wait

For Romeo to return to our date.

As the minutes pass, I start to cackle;

With the murder a success, not much left to tackle.

Finally, Romeo comes through the door,

“Is the Prince done or should I go back out for more?”

“No,” I say, “The Prince is gone.”

“Indeed; I hope to see him anon.”

Ha; the only royalty thou shalt see soon

Is the royal executioner next noon.

When someone discovers the Prince’s death,

Surely that will be thy final breath.

  
[ _Friar Laurence continues his herbology lesson with Romeo, confident that his title of Friar will clear him of suspicion and Romeo will be the prime suspect of the Prince’s murder. Naturally, the punishment for murdering the Prince is execution; so if all goes well, the Friar’s revenge will be complete._ ]


	3. In which Prince Escalus awakens

_ Sunday morning, about an hour before Act I, Scene I. Friar Laurence enters the barn, where Prince Escalus, having been “dead” for 42 hours, is just starting to stir. _

**Prince Escalus:**

With three slow blinks of my heavy eyes

I see a cloud of darkness rise.

I look around; where could I be?

And who is this man I see before me?

Why, Friar Laurence, thou look so shocked;

Thy expression like a proud cat mocked.

“Pray tell, what happened, Friar?” I say,

“And why am I laying on a pile of hay?”

The Friar responds, “O Prince, of course,

Thou doth not remember; thou was sick as a horse.”

“A horse, thou say? What sick horse was I?”

“I dareth say, a horse poisoned by…”

“Speak, dear Friar! Poisoned by…?”

“Surely I know not; some awful guy.”

“But how was I healed? By whom could it be?”

“Well, dear Prince, ’twas mine herbs that saved thee.”

“Mine eternal thanks, O dearest Friar,

Thou is one of few I know to not be a liar.

So now I ask, what hath occurred

As I laid here without a word?”

The Friar hath no chance to respond,

As in comes a servant from beyond.

“Prince Escalus! Found at last!

Pray come at once, before much time hath passed!”

“O servant mine, why doth thou fret?”

“A fight, my lord, with Capulet

And Montague, all over the street!”

I groan; someday, they’ll all be dead meat.

“Very well then, let’s be on our way.

So tell me, sir, where is my horse?” I say.

“He’s just outside, waiting to be steered.

I found him two days ago, after you disappeared.”

“Two days ago?! Two days I’ve been sick?

Leaving Verona ungoverned… I must go quick!”

With my youthful legs, I charge through the doors,

Soon galloping down the streets astride my horse.

In just a few minutes, I arrive at the scene

Of quarrelling subjects, with Benvolio between.

I must stop the violence, yes, but O,

How my heart beats for dear Benvolio!

The sun glints gold on his dusty brown hair,

His face seems to glow in this hot summer air.

His eyes, how they shine, so bright and clear,

And those soft lips do I wish to be near.

O, his appearance is nothing compared to his heart;

From his sweet, kind words I hate to be apart.

Most Montagues are troublesome, for sure,

But problems with Benvolio I have not had to endure.

_ Pull thyself together, _ I tell myself,

_ Put thy feelings now on a shelf. _

For now I must remain professional,

And speak of this love only in a confessional.

With my mind swept of that feelings’ dust,

I am now prepared to do what I must.

With a boldly drawn sword and a proud neigh,

My horse and I charge into the fray.

  
[ _ Prince Escalus stops the fight. The Prince tells all the Capulets and Montagues to leave and not fight again, or face the death penalty. Then he is on his way, trying to establish order after the chaos that ensued from his 42-hour disappearance. _ ]


	4. In which Romeo asks Friar Laurence to marry him and Juliet

_ Before sunrise Monday morning. Act II, Scene III. Friar Laurence is in his garden, analyzing plants. _

**Friar Laurence:**

My plot for revenge is falling apart;

O, how this hurts my heavy heart!

Already separated from any love that’s true,

Wherefore am I deprived of successful murder plots too?

42 hours was all that poison lasted;

The Prince, now alive, leaves me flabbergasted!

I checked several times, he had no pulse;

No breaths, no heartbeats, no muscle impulse.

But now, the Prince is alive and well,

My weary brain hath no more ideas to sell.

How can I kill this man now?

Can anyone tell me, just how?

And if the Prince is alive, there is no need for suspects.

O, how to frame Romeo? This is so complex.

Any further move might reveal mine involvement;

I shalt be in danger until these events’ resolvement.

Ah, no sense in worrying of these matters now.

I shalt examine these plants, if this dim light allow.

I could spend hours contently observing these leaves,

Though of Rosaline’s presence I still feel bereaved.

_ Knock knock! Pound pound! Tap tap! _

To be here so early, this must be some desperate chap.

I wonder who it is, knocking at my door?

Without hesitation, he hath crosseth the moor.

I raise my head to look, and mine eyes do reveal

None other than Romeo, grinning with zeal.

He dances around, speaking of love;

Mine eyes surely roll to the heavens above.

So early the hour, so excited be he;

I cannot help but feel a surge of jealousy.

Wherefore speaketh he of love… Hath he crossed that line?!

“Romeo,” I say, “Wast thou with Rosaline?!”

Romeo tells me he hath forgotten that name.

How could he forget such a lovely dame?

Indeed, the reason he so soon forget

Is a pretty young girl named Juliet.

Having met her but once, he thinks he’s in love;

But much more is needed for such a pure dove!

I take a few moments to scold him for this;

Seeing only her face, her personality he shalt miss.

How now?! He wants to get married?!

O how far away he hath been carried!

Such shallow romance that moves so fast

Like summer rain, seems powerful but soon is past.

But wait… an idea in my head starts to form…

Of a way to revenge, though not in the norm…

If he gets what he wants, in the end, he will pay;

Through no fault of mine, for ’twas his own way.

This marriage he asks for, he shalt receive;

’Tis not my problem he is so naïve.

Romeo; this marriage, I give to thee like a fire;

May thou bask in its warmth, then burn on thy pyre.

  
[ _ Friar Laurence tells Romeo that he will help him and Juliet get married. Later that day, Romeo and Juliet come back to Friar Laurence’s cell, and he keeps his promise. He marries them, disguising his smirk of sinister glee as an innocent smile of joy for the young lovers. _ ]


	5. In which Romeo is banished

_ Monday afternoon. Act III, Scene I. The Prince has just arrived at the scene of Mercutio’s and Tybalt’s death. _

**Prince Escalus:**

Another night, another fight!

Another life shall now take flight!

Those Capulets and Montagues;

It’s time for them to pay their dues!

O, wherefore doth they brawl so much?

Each other’s business they should not touch!

No families here cause me such pain

As these two and the ones they’ve slain!

So whom today hath fought this time?

Which one of them is murderous slime?

For murder undoubtedly hath occurred,

These stones with blood hath been blurred.

I look upon the scene with dismay;

Benvolio’s the only one to stay.

O Benvolio, hast thou spilt blood?

At thy execution, mine eyes would flood.

O worry not, my tender heart;

Of murders, he would not take part;

His soul hath too much warmth and compassion;

His gentle nature, the object of my passion.

O, my sweet Benvolio,

Whenever we meet, my love doth grow.

I see thy smile, so perfect and pure;

Thy porcelain teeth, thy dimples; my heartache’s cure.

O, a face as gorgeous as thine,

How wondrously paired with a mind as fine,

O, I know our fates must align,

O Benvolio, wilt thou be mine?

In a city filled with death and hate,

For a rare kind soul like thee, I would forever wait.

Brilliant and kind, loyal and brave;

Of thy glorious traits I could endlessly rave.

From across the square, his eyes meet mine;

I feel a shiver down my spine.

My flushing cheeks doth cause me annoyance;

I fear his powers of clairvoyance.

His eyes doth seem to see through me,

Could he know what my feelings be?

O surely not, what, how preposterous,

He’d as soon know my thoughts as be a rhinoceros.

To business, now, I quickly ask

Of Benvolio, the truth to unmask.

O, thine eyes, so clear and blue;

I know that all thou speak is true.

Indeed, he tells me the tale of events,

Though explained in twisted sequence.

Alas, the truth he speaks I wish not to hear,

The result of this fight is that which I most fear.

A courageous man, one of my own blood,

As well mine, Romeo’s, and Benvolio’s bud,

Is he whose blood doth stain this ground;

For heaven now his soul be bound.

O, Mercutio, wherefore art thy killed?

Wherefore wast thine and Tybalt’s blood spilled?

As Benvolio speaks, the truth becomes clear;

The guilt is Romeo’s; his punishment shalt be severe.

Romeo, indeed, a suspicious man;

Almost surely my sickness was his own plan.

For who else indeed could have poisoned me?

Before I lost consciousness, I drank Romeo’s tea.

Now his misadventures hath angered Tybalt,

The swords drawn here art undoubtedly his fault.

My brave friend Mercutio of course would defend him,

Though suffering and death seem Romeo’s only agendum.

A trickster, a liar, a murderer, a thief;

These are the charges I place upon thee.

Thou tricked dear Mercutio into thy strife,

And in doing so, thou hath stolen his life.

But hark, hear how Benvolio defends thee;

For thy execution he of course would blame me.

Perhaps he has a point, thou avenged Mercutio;

Still I find it difficult to forgive thee, Romeo.

Aha! Like how for the sun the rainy clouds part,

Through my grief an idea starts to shine in my heart.

In order to remove this obnoxious pest,

I see now the route that would be best.

Romeo is a murderer, a danger to Verona;

An execution is the most obvious fix for this persona.

However, so Benvolio doth not see me as vile,

Clearly Romeo shalt be sent into exile!

Forever he shalt leave this city’s walls,

But my heart will still hear Mercutio’s calls.

Romeo, I pray thee, learn from this warning,

Else thou leave more people drowned in mourning.

O Mercutio, my beloved cousin,

Thou hath the courage of lions a-dozen.

To have known thee, I consider myself blessed.

May thy soul, so soon parted, now peacefully rest.

  
[ _ Prince Escalus tells everyone that Romeo will be banished from Verona for his crimes. Then, with a last longing glance at Benvolio, he leaves to tell his family of Mercutio’s death. _ ]


	6. In which Friar Laurence has a change of heart and gives the potion to Juliet

_ Tuesday afternoon. Act IV, Scene I. Friar Laurence is talking to Juliet in his cell. _

**Friar Laurence:**

This afternoon, before me is young Juliet,

New wife of Romeo and daughter of Capulet,

Woeful over Romeo’s sentence of exile,

Convinced that she shalt never again smile.

Though against Romeo I’ll forever hold a grudge,

This Juliet deserves to be heard by a new judge.

The faults of Romeo are no fault of hers;

I want not to make her suffering worse.

The poor dear, she seems so shaken up;

With Romeo her fancy is clearly taken up.

How cruel what that cocky tomcat hath done to her;

She mistakes a flirtatious meow for true love’s purr.

An innocent kitten indeed is she,

Bitten by a lovebug or a pesky flea?

But soft! What, the fault is mine.

Because of me, by marriage were those two entwined.

What, was my plan for vengeance only selfish bloodlust?

Its impact on this poor girl leaves me nonplussed.

I intended not for anyone else to get hurt…

Perhaps from vengeance to protection I should now convert.

This tragedy is only my fault, I now see;

Well, and Romeo’s, foolish flirt, murderous scorpion that he be.

O, what a terrible mistake I hath made;

These lives for my lost love I shalt not trade.

Romeo may indeed be a brainless boar,

But to kill him would wound too many more.

Now that an innocent young girl is involved,

I must find a way for this mess to be peacefully resolved.

O my, and the Prince, what a darling,

His temperament hath always been gentle as a starling.

Wherefore did I wish to kill thee, my Prince?

And rob my life of one more dear companion hence?

I know now that I must stop this madness

Before Verona is overcome with sadness.

For their families’ sake, I must save Romeo and Juliet

From the disaster their hurried marriage may bring yet.

Even though romance can no longer be mine,

The love for my friends shalt keep my heart in line.

Despite the love from which I hath been deprived,

By helping good people may my heart be revived.

O Prince, O Benvolio,

O Juliet, O Romeo,

Together and happy thou shalt be

If any choice is left to me.

[ _ Friar Laurence gives Juliet the potion that will make her fall asleep for 42 hours, and tells her a plan so that her and Romeo might be together in the end. _ ]


	7. In which Prince Escalus discovers a crime scene at the Capulet tomb

_ Thursday night/Friday morning. Act V, Scene III. Prince Escalus, the Capulets, and the Montagues arrive at the Capulet tomb, discovering the corpses of Count Paris, Romeo, and Juliet. The watchmen have apprehended Balthasar and Friar Laurence. _

**Prince Escalus:**

It seems the Capulets are stirring up trouble again;

With their feud, even holy ground they doth not hesitate to stain.

Wherefore am I brought here in these dark hours of night?

I do not wish to deal with this murderous plight.

This obsidian sky should not be disturbed,

But by even the crypt’s shadows, this violence remains unperturbed.

A herd of loud bison, these two families are,

Charging through a peaceful pond, its tranquility they mar.

My eyes open wide as torchlight lets them see

The triple tragedy that lies before me.

Three corpses, newly killed;

With grief, my heart may be stilled.

Two young lives, by poison and dagger taken,

By whom was their peace and lives forsaken?

O, the third body, how can this be?

The heavens hath scorned my desperate plea!

My city I love, of course, but above all

My family I treasure; I pray against their fall.

Only two days in this world hath past

Since the last murderous event to leave me aghast.

With my cousin, Mercutio, so recently lost,

Wherefore must my heart pay another harsh cost?

In life, happiness is worth so much more than gold;

Yet of one I have plenty, while my joy seems all sold.

My castle’s vault is filled to the brim,

Yet the one in my heart is now empty and grim.

It seems endless despair and grief is my doom;

Forever left alone in this cruel life’s gloom.

With my parents assassinated when I was but a boy,

In Mercutio and Paris I found love and joy.

O vibrant Mercutio, my cousin, dearest friend and brother;

O kind-hearted Paris, who cared for me with the compassion of a mother.

Now, my closest friends and family, those I hold most dear,

By Death hath been snatched, leaving me alone in my fear.

Like the last fading star in the morning sky,

When my companions have gone, I too am sure to soon die.

The black sky above us, the cruel shadowy night;

All of us here are crushed by that darkness tonight.

Mercutio and Paris, Lady Montague and Romeo, Tybalt and Juliet;

From our three families, two each hath been taken by Death’s threat.

The watchmen have returned with Friar Laurence and Balthasar,

Both found running from the crime scene, though they didn’t get far.

Around the three corpses is our circle of solemn faces;

Of any hostility or anger there are no more traces.

The remains of the Capulets and Montagues make peace;

At least after this, their blood feud should cease.

Enough blood hath been spilt in just a short week

To make both torn families’ lives plenty bleak.

Satisfied that no more violence tonight shall commence,

I move away from the crowd to make some sense of these events.

Three lie dead, the murderer unknown.

Upon whom can the blame of these deaths be bestown?

I call Friar Laurence over to talk.

His involvement in this comes as quite a shock.

“What wast thou doing at this tomb today, Friar?”

“Trying to save them; thou must believe me, sire!”

“Trying to save them? Thou knew they would die?”

“Romeo is emotional; at Juliet’s death he’d more than cry.”

“What art thou saying? Romeo cared for Juliet?

He would kill himself for her, an enemy Capulet?”

“Yes, dear Prince, that is my claim;

Young lovers kept separate by conflict of name.

Indeed, I should know, for I was the one

Who married them, as no other would’ve done.”

“O Friar, this is quite the scandalous news!

Is thy power of marriage quite often abused?”

“I object! Uniting true lovers is a most sacred task!

And speaking of secret lovers… Thou thyself is not without such a mask.”

I recoil and shout with a horrified gasp, “Inconceivable!”

“Au contraire, dear Prince; a life with thy love is quite achievable.”

“Wherefore doth thou speak of such unseemly matters?!”

“If thou can keep my secret and not leave my life in tatters…”

A dramatic pause, then the Friar again speaks:

“I shalt give thee something so thy happiness peaks.”

“Thy bribes are as useful as a slug is swift.”

“Nay, ’tis not I, but Benvolio, who presents this gift.”

Surely as a strike over my head, this leaves me silenced.

Friar says, “I can help thee only if I am not sentenced.”

“Thou shalt be warned, I dislike empty promises.”

“My suggestion is hard fact, not merely hypothesis.”

“Then speak, Friar Laurence, what doth thou propose?”

“Benvolio loves thee, that I surely knows.

If thou wouldst forgive me for my role in these woes,

I would secretly join in marriage thy hands and Benvolio’s.”

  
[ _ The Prince agrees to the Friar’s terms, and the general public is told only that Romeo and Juliet were in love and each sacrificed themselves for the sake of the other, and Paris’s death was a tragic result of Romeo’s extreme depression. Friar Laurence’s and the Nurse’s involvement in these events remain untold of. _ ]


	8. In which Prince Escalus and Benvolio get married

_ Saturday evening, two days after Romeo’s and Juliet’s deaths. Friar Laurence, Prince Escalus, Benvolio, and Rosaline are in Friar Laurence’s cell. _

**Rosaline:**

O glorious, beautiful, wondrous day!

My beloved Prince (whom I now know is gay)

Is getting married! With joy my skirts twirl!

I hath been invited to be the flower girl!

I had given up on love, but now I see

Just how amazing true love can be!

Just look at that smile that lights up his face;

O, that incredibly handsome face…

Never mind! What, I didn’t say that…

The Prince, for me, is surely… too fat…?

Hmm, yes, I’m not interested at all;

From that hopeless investment I hath made a full withdrawal.

I focus now on my basket of flowers,

For the most precious I hath searched for several hours.

But indeed, the most precious thing I hath found,

Is times like these when such good feelings abound.

Any shred of jealousy that I might have felt

Hath disintegrated as my heart doth melt.

So gorgeous and lovely this wedding is,

All thanks to the Friar; and look, here he is!

**Friar Laurence:**

My spirits were hitherto high as I come through the door,

But the sight I see then makes them even higher soar.

This picturesque wedding, glowing golden with sunshine,

Is made even more pleasant with the presence of Rosaline.

She seems to me even more beautiful than I remembered;

Her red hair aflame in the sunlight like burning embers;

Her blue eyes like water; clear and piercing, yet gentle;

Her flowing dress, the wind; freckles, dots of earth; in her lies every elemental.

“Hello, Rosaline,” I say, “It’s been awhile.”

A sweet grin lights up her exquisite profile.

“This wedding is like a painting of which I’ve never seen greater,

And to speak to you is like meeting its brilliant creator.”

“On the contrary, the honor is all mine

To be able to see thee again, my dear friend Rosaline.”

“O, Friar Laurence, thou art too kind;

Indeed, to marry these two, thou hath a most compassionate mind.”

Rosaline curtsies, and floats away without hurry,

Her light feet dancing across the floor like snow in a flurry.

O, could this day become any greater?

Perhaps Rosaline and I can converse more later.

The purest of joys now fills my heart,

And no force on this Earth could make it depart.

I see the Prince and Benvolio at the end of the room,

Each one makes quite the handsome groom.

The bliss in their faces, the delight in their eyes;

Of this doth my heart’s jubilation comprise.

No more shalt I act in anger or hate;

Those days are long over; I am free from that weight.

O, my wonderful dear companions,

My love for thee runs far and deep as the canyons.

Forever my care and assistance shalt be thine;

May happiness and health be endlessly to thee assigned.

**Benvolio:**

O happy ways, O merry day!

All mourning at bay, only cheery tidings we say!

My Prince, my love, my soon-to-be husband,

He truly is one of a kind among thousands.

Prince Escalus and I stand before the Friar’s powers,

Whilst Rosaline prepares the rings and the flowers.

She slowly starts walking up to the altar,

When a sudden cold wind blows and her footsteps falter.

Like a ship through the mist,

Though a cloud of fog doth persist,

Through a haze doth slowly appear

Dead Paris, and Mercutio, O friend most dear!

**Paris:**

“A devoted relative like me would never leave my Prince fretting;

Not even Death can keep me from attending thy wedding!

Ah, dearest Escalus, there thou art!

This lovely wedding doth warm my dead heart!”

The dear child stares at me with utter shock.

I laugh. “Give me a hug, son! There’s no time to gawk!”

He rushes into my ghostly arms with glee.

He cries, “I wish thou couldst stay forever with me!”

“O Escalus, don’t waste thy tears on me;

I shalt come to this world often to visit thee.

Now, let all of thy sorrows be no longer bitter,

For with me I’ve brought thee another visitor.”

**Mercutio:**

“Escaly! Benvioli! Save some tears for me!

At my glorious self’s absence, Verona surely hath wept bitterly!”

With my two closest friends I am wrapped in an embrace,

And though quite manly I am, I could not keep a straight face.

Tears shalt not fall from my cool, calm eyes;

Yet my love and emotion I cannot disguise.

Though in romance I hath never believed,

By even me this joy cannot remain unperceived.

“Escaly ukelele, my cousin, friend most cherished,

May this quaint love of thine never perish.

Benvioli ravioli, my buddy, treasured comrade,

May this marriage make thee forever glad.”

Paris and I take a seat as we watch;

Since my arrival, the room’s happiness hath sure gone up a notch.

The two lovebirds return to the Friar’s side,

And Rosaline with the rings down the aisle doth stride.

**Prince Escalus:**

The moment is here, the awaited moment at last.

O, my love for Benvolio hath grown so vast.

And now, my family hath returned to me,

A happier man in this whole universe there cannot be.

The Friar starts to speak, and Rosaline hands us the rings.

We place them on each other’s fingers, and my heart gleefully sings.

The Friar finishes, “In each other, thy love shalt always reside.

And now, my dear groom, thou may kiss the… um… groom.”


End file.
